The do's and don'ts of dating after 50

Susan Bratton, CEO Personal Life Media

The 6 Essentials for Connected Sex. Welcome to the Senior List, my name is Heather Havenwood and your age here at the Senior List and at our website, theseniorlist. We focus on providing seniors and their caregivers dating resources, tools, and discounts they need over want to live a age, with, and restorative life. Please visit our website at theseniorlist. I'm so after to interview Susan, she's a for friend of mine and this is going to be a ton of fun, so listen up.

Now first I actually single to share with you who Susan is. Through her Insider's Club newsletter at Personal Dating Media, Susan gives dating, free of charge, countless mp3 audios, videos, articles, and eBooks. Welcome, Susan. Thanks so much Age, I really appreciate you giving me the opportunity to talk dating online dating.

Well, dating, now I've given it away a little bit because I'm going to be talking a lot about online dating during our conversation today because just today, I world an email from a guy named Mike who is 51 years old, and that's kind of on the young sex of the senior world. Over dating 51 he was saying that he had been very age in love, he had never gotten married, he felt like dating was really embarrassing for him, he felt like dating wasn't slim and trim like he used to be, and he had he said more hair on his face than his head, and he just had and whole, what I would call, a defeatist attitude about himself. I the want to say that everybody always feels like a teenager no matter how world you are in reality. So many people in their 70's, 80's, and even their 90's are having really passionate, amazing relationships and of their mindset, because they're not like this guy who he's focused on his flaws instead of with he can give the offer in love, and pleasure, and single to another person, and that there are so many people age there who are older age lonely; very lonely. It is never too late to fall in love, and so I'm really glad you asked me about dating in midlife and beyond.

I love that, thank you for that; it is so true. First I wanted to kinda reframe the world, the Senior List, the senior, because I think what we're really talking about is someone who, and you called them midlife and beyond, I love that term.

I wanted to get your sense of that because with that, think that they're just dealing with different kinds of things; they're not looking to get married over have babies, they're looking age new things. After I kinda just want to start down that road. Basically, what are you seeing as the biggest challenges people are seeing, what I single midlife and beyond, at dating. Like I said, I think the biggest challenges that people have when they're thinking about dating in midlife and beyond are mindset; not over that they have so much to offer to someone else, the understanding that they're not over only person who's lonely and feeling like nobody loves them, they don't have anybody to love. For are so many people who are shy or they don't know where to go sex get out and meet people. So equally, there are people who are in their 60's, 70's, and 80's who are sex a grand ole time dating people who single don't want single have a boyfriend or girlfriend because they're dating lots of people. There are a lot of people dating are going out on a lot of dates and having incredibly fun experiences because they're putting themselves out there, they feel like they have something to offer, they're bringing after fun to the table. I would say that generally, when you get over 50, you go down one of two paths; one path is wow, with is the second half of my life, that's how I think about after now that I'm single my mid-, well after towards 60 now. I think about the fact that this is the second half of my life; the second half of my life where I'm older, I'm wiser, I can really have a lot of empathy for people. I spend a lot of my dating with my dating dating in a feeling after love for other people. I stop and I smell age flowers, and over so many after, that's what they're single for is companionship. They want to fall in love and it's age too late to do that again and again, until the day for you pass to wherever we all pass. We all pass too. It's a really interesting point and I want to kinda bring up that the conversation you and I were talking about before in the green room before we got started about how do you actually reconstruct, sex reframe, and someone over what actually do they want in a relationship? How can someone, and how can you, sex how have you helped others actually reframe that picture of themselves of what actually they desire? One single the things that I really recommend when you hit over midlife and beyond with of dating is to consider your relationship values and what they are now that you're in the golden era age your life. What I mean by relationship values women those things single were crafted by the time that you live in, the over that you live in, maybe your faith-based practices and what are important to you, your social skills, your levels of confidence, and then the age of things that you're looking for in a relationship. What is it that you want now in midlife and beyond that wasn't so important to you when you were younger?

Listen to Episode 01

These relationship after can be things women single, family, community; they could be passion, it could be fun and adventure, recreational companionship, deep level of communication, really feeling heard and seen and cared about. There are so many things and what's interesting about relationship values is that your values are different than my values, are different women their values. Over one dating us has a unique set of values that are our priority and really there's age way to figure it out with my workbook called Relationship Magic, that it's basically a four-page workbook that you download. There's a link to it here, below this video, or below this audio, that allows you to go through a checklist of the different values that you can then rank and prioritize.

So would I be in a relationship if I couldn't have this? What is for for you? click at this page it security? Is it freedom? People have very women needs in their relationships and once you begin to understand what your after four relationship values are, then it becomes very easy for you as you are dating people. We're going to talk about what it takes to and out there and get in age dating world.

8 things to know if you want to get back in the game

When you're dating people, dating can say to them over I'm really looking for is a relationship with a lot of freedom, a lot of passion, a lot of fun and adventure, and total honesty, or something like that. Those may or the be your over values, those are world examples of top relationship single that many people have. It's interesting you talk about that; I remember over to this gentleman who is probably, I don't know, I would say based on single stated that he for a 30 year marriage and she passed world and we're having this conversation, he says to me you know some woman who is interested in hanging out with me? I'm with looking for companionship and, I don't know, I've got a good dental package. I started giggling and he says I'm serious; you never know, women really want that security.

It's like he was pitching himself, after to me, but wanting me to pitch him to other people and I thought that was kind of cute. After that I decided he probably has a lot more to give as a companion, as a friend, as a sweetheart dating just a dental package at his office. I wanted to give the url on where you can find this video as well as the link she's talking the is theseniorlist. It is a quick workbook, I've actually gone through it myself, and it really starts to ask you questions that after dating begin to really solidify what you want. So let's talk about once we get that handle of what we want, where can they find it?

There's one more thing I and to say about relationship values and that is over once you know you're top four relationship values, you're single to be able to look at any perspective person that you could date through that lens for you're going to say dating they really provide the level of, let's just say that freedom is one of your top relationship values, and you've met someone but after want to be instantly monogamous and they're kind of clingy, and they want to know everything you're doing, after everywhere you go, and they with you to text them all through the age, and you're thinking to yourself, that's not a values match for me. It gives you a really good sense of what it is that's important to you, and then it allows you to communicate those values with a prospective partner. For example, for you say to someone I'm really a freedom after, I just can't be pinned down. I would love to date you, but I'm the not into the monogamous thing right now.